Worm Song

I was reading Suburbia's blog tonite about talking to a worm and I got tickled. It reminded me of a song we sang as kids. If you know it sing along!Nobody likes me, Everybody Hates meGuess I'll go eat wormsBig ones, Fat ones, Juicy ones and black ones,Guess I'll go eat worms,First ones greasy~went down easySecond one stuck in my throat.Third one rustedFourth one bustedFifth one tried to run~SQUISH!!!!Now the song is stuck in my head~I am beginning to think that teaching kindergarten in affecting my mental state! Have a Happy Day!

Inspiration from a Sparrow

Once upon a time there was a little sparrow, who hated to fly south for the winter. He dreaded the thought of leaving, his home so much, that he decided he would delay the journey until the last possible minute. After bidding a fond farewell to all his sparrow friends, he went back to his nest and stayed for an additional four weeks. Finally the weather turned so bitterly cold, that he could delay no longer. As the little sparrow took off and started to fly south, it began to rain. In a short time, ice began to form on his little wings. Almost dead from the cold and exhaustion, he fell to the earth near a barnyard. As he was breathing what he thought was surely his final breath, a horse walked out of the barn and proceeded to cover the little bird with fertilizer. At first the sparrow could think of nothing except that this was a terrible way to die. But the fertilizer started to sink into his feathers, it warmed him and life began to return to his body. He also found that he had enough room to breathe. Suddenly the little sparrow was so happy he started to sing. At that moment a large cat came into the barnyard and hearing the chirping of the little bird began digging into the pile of fertilizer. The cat uncovered the bird and ate him! This story contains three morals:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who takes shit off of you is your friend.
3. When you are warm and comfortable, even if it is in a pile of shit, Keep your mouth shut!

Fathers Can Learn alot from their Kids

The past few weeks I have been very extremely stressed! So to help me not eat the house down I have soul searched funny tidbits to make me laugh~This one is long but all mothers will appreciate the humor.
A San Diego father identifies 35 truths he learned from his children:
1. There is no such thing as childproofing your house.
2. If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 4 year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape.
5. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 room.
6. Baseballs make marks on a ceiling.
7. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw a ball up several times before you get a hit.
8. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
9. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
10. The glass in a window (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
11. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh-oh", it is already too late.
12. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke~lots of it.
13. A 6 year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 60 year old man says it can only be done in the movies.
14. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
15. If you use a waterbed as a home plate while wearing baseball shoes, it does not leak. It explodes!
16. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 square foot house almost 4 inches deep.
17. Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4 year old.
18. Duplos will not.
19. Play doh and microwave ovens should never be used in the same sentence.
20. Super Glue is forever.
21. MacGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.
22. So can Tarzan.
23. No matter how much jello you put in the pool, you still can't walk on water.
24. Pool filters do not like jello.
25. VCRS do not eject PB&J sandwiches, even though TV commercials show they do.
26. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
27. Marbles in the gas tank make lots of noise when driving.
28. You probably don't want to know what that odor is.
29. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
30. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
31. The fire department in San Diego has at least a 5 minute response.
32. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make an earthworm dizzy.
33. It will, however, make a cat dizzy.
34. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
35. A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life(unfortunately, most in retrospect).

I have always thought that laughter is the best medicine! So laugh often even if you have to laugh at yourself! Hope you have a great week!

You May Have Been Teaching too Long If?

Well it is the time of year that if you teach you grin and bear it! We only have 25 more school days left!!! Yeah! So I found an old funny that I thought I would share!
10 Ways to know if you have been teaching too long?
1. You think Caffeine should be available to staff in IV form.
2. You believe no one should be allowed to reproduce without having taught primary school for at least 5 years.
3. You encourage a parent to check into home schooling.
4. You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac.
5. When out in public you feel the urage to snap your fingers at a child.
6. You believethat "shallow gene pool" should have its own box on the report card.
7. You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
8. You believe chocolate is a food group.
9. You believe the staff room should be equipped with a valium salt lick.
10. You can't have children because there isn't any name that won't elevate your blood pressure.

I hope you have a wonderful day!

Serenity Prayer

I love the Serenity Prayer for so many many reasons. It really is so simple to remember and easy to memorize. But the message it brings is so powerful. Well if you do not know it~here it is.

Lord Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.
So many times in life the difference is in the knowing what you can and can not change. Well being a teacher at this time of year I have been given a serenity prayer with a twist. Please know this is written in fun and not to offend in any way.

A Prayer for the Stressed!
Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I can not change,
the courage to change the things I cannot accept,
and the wisdom to hide the dead bodies of those people I had to kill because they pissed me off today.
And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today
as they may be connected to the butt
that I may have to kiss tomorrow!!

I hope your day is not going quite that bad~but if you have had one of those days I hope this bought you a little smile. Have a great day! And remember if you aren't into exercise it takes more muscles to frown than to smile!!

Wishes

I was looking for some words of encouragement for a coworker that has lost both her Mom ans Dad within the last 6 months. I came across this poem that spoke to me and I hope it will speak to you.

Wishes
I wish for you...
Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Gentle hugs when you doubt,
Faith so that you can believe,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
And love to complete your life.

I asked the Lord to bless you
As I prayed for you today!

To guide you and protest you
As you go along your way....
His love is always with you
His promises are true,
You know He will see us through.
So when the road you're traveling on
Seems difficult at best..
God will do the rest.

(borrowed Author unknown)


May today find you well and if you are not well may you turn it over to God and let Him guide you through it. Have a great today and a Fantabulous Tomorrow!

Enjoy the Ride

Life is like a ride in the country with the windows rolled down. You don't know what you will see or what adventures you will embark upon ~you just enjoy the ride! NO everything that you meet in life is fun or enjoyable. But do you like all of the sights and smells along the country ride. I don't think so~Skunk smells and cow poop! I think those are the times in our life where we hit that bump in the road or that large hole in a bridge. We have to regroup and continue to trudge ahead! Just like the skunk smell that lingers for what seems like miles sometimes are rough patches seem to never end. It is hard to smile and pretend everything is wonderful or even just ok. That is why we have friends! They are the air freshener in the car. They are not always in the view but the scent of them is always around to lend a hand, shoulder, or ear. Now everything on your journey isn't a bump~so many times things are smooth sailing! You just have to hold on, know that God will always ensure that you have enough Gas to make it through the trip. Besides whether your journey is smooth or bumpy, God has something in the journey to help strengthen us and help us grow. There is nothing better than rolling the windows down, cranking the music up and traveling in the country with the wind blowing in your hair. It doesn't get any better than that! So when life throws a curve at you~just sit back, crank the music up, and enjoy the ride.